Deep within me lies an inherent Fear Of Public Speaking (FOPS). I need to workshop a better acronym, but that’s not important.

If you’re a superhuman, able to steady your nerves, stand on stage, and deliver something coherent and engaging, public speaking is a top-tier way to promote yourself. You’ll be rewarded with prestige and recognition beyond that on the day as you add “public speaker” to your list of creds. Plus, once you nail your first speaking gig, it’s much easier to book your next.

I’ve booked speakers for events and coached people to give talks, but I have a secret…

I’ve only had one corporate on-stage appearance, and I’m still haunted by it. I got tongue-tied and panicked. My mind went completely blank, followed by a strong urge to run/cry/move abroad and change my name. It was a tough crowd.

As I get older and more retrospective (yes, I journal), I’ve realized it’s hypocritical to dish out advice without having the chops to do it myself. Maybe I should change that.

But before I, or you, agree to get up on that big, scary stage, I decided to seek advice from people with real experience.

Here’s what 13 people told me who have actually been there and done it.

Agreeing to give your first talk

Money matters

When you start on the “speaking circuit,” you usually won’t be offered payment, although I’d always ask. This is especially true if the event is small and free to attend. Sometimes, the organizer will be able to cover travel expenses and accommodation.

If you’re asked to create more in-depth content or speak to a larger, ticket-paying audience, it’s only fair to get paid for your work. Sadly, it’s not industry standard for events to pay speakers. Instead, they offer a bullshit bingo fan-fav “exposure.” You have to make a call about whether that’s acceptable. If you’re offered a fee but don’t need it, you can earn serious karma points by insisting it’s used to pay a new/underrepresented voice instead.

What’s important is knowing your worth. Ask other speakers in the lineup with similar work and speaking experience what they’re getting. Events tend to favor speakers from well-known brands. People who work in professional services or freelancers will sometimes be asked to pay to speak at events as it’s seen as a marketing opportunity.

According to Foundr, here’s a rough guide for speaker fees (in USD)

My advice for asking for payment is;

Do research on what others are getting paid. Would you be happy to spend the time, money, and effort to give the talk for the fee you’re asking for?
Ask confidently.
You can negotiate or decline if they say your fee is too much.

Understand exactly what you need to do

I’ve set out all the questions I can think of that you might want to ask. The event organizer should be prepared and answer most of the questions before you ask, but if they don’t, here’s a good list.

General

What is the speaker fee? Are travel and expenses covered?
Do you offer speaking skills coaching or mentorship for speakers?

Audience

Who will be attending? What industry, job roles, and experience/seniority will the audience be?
What are the audience’s primary interests or pain points?
How big is the room capacity where I’ll be talking?

Talk & Content

How long is my speaking slot? Does that include time for questions?
Do you need me to send over my presentation before the event? If so, by when/where?
Is there a specific format you need my slides in?
Can I use audio/video?
Is it OK to swear?
Should my talk tie into other sessions or the theme of the conference?
Should the talk be formal, interactive, or conversational?
What type of content/talks have worked well previously?
Are there multiple tracks running at the same time? If there’s a keynote at the same time, ask the organizer how they will encourage people to attend your session.
Should I use my own slide template, or do you have one I should use?

Logistics

What day/time do you want me to present? After lunch sessions, people are flagging, so you need to deliver a higher-energy talk.
When should I arrive at the venue?
Where should I go when I arrive/who should I meet?
Do you do rehearsals?
Will I have access to a green room or private space before my talk?

Tech

What is the stage setup? Is there a lectern, mic, and stand?
What equipment will be available? E.g., laptop, projector, clicker?
Can I use my own laptop?
What happens if the technology fails? Are there technicians on site?
Do you use any software to run audience engagement, e.g., polls?

Marketing

Is there an event hashtag or social media handle?
Are there networking events, panels, or other sessions I should attend or participate in?
Can I bring promotional material, such as books or business cards, for distribution afterward?
Can I send some key points about myself for the MC to introduce me?
What format/length of the text should I provide for my bio for the event website?
Do you need a headshot for the event website?
Can you provide me with a discount code or free tickets to give to my clients or social media followers?
Can I write or record any teaser material for you to promote my talk?
Can I use event recordings or photos for promotional purposes?
Can you/I distribute my slides to event attendees after the talk?

Post-event

Will any feedback be collected from attendees? Can you share it with me?
Do you have any feedback for me?
When do you start booking speakers for next year?

Start small

Look for local events on sites like Meetup.com that focus on topics you’d like to talk about (personally or professionally).

Do some reconnaissance by attending a couple of events, posing as an “attendee” before offering yourself up as the proverbial sacrificial lamb.

Decide on your talk format

Outside of how long the slot is and whether you can use slides/video/audio, what you do with your time on stage is up to you.

Neil offers up some advice. He nearly lost me with his “it’s quite simple,” but he’s a seasoned pro with some solid advice, so read on;

“I know this isn’t what you might expect – but public speaking is quite simple once you get your head around the idea that it’s about the audience, not the speaker.

The audience wants something entertaining, relatable, and usable, so make sure everything you say revolves around them, their lives, and their understanding.

People remember stories. Stories have three phases. How things were, what happened to make the change happen, and how things are now (or will be in the future.) Like the story of ‘Incy Wincy Spider’ (Spider, spout, rain, sun – Happy Incy Wincy!) Own your mistakes. Remember, the audience wants you to succeed – the only one expecting you to be perfect is you. ”

Neil Simpson, Kingpin at Doing The Right Things

I suggest Neil trademarks “The Incy Wincy Method” because, he’s right, stories are memorable. Trademarking, or, more realistically, coining a memorable phrase, acronym (FOPS!) framework, or method, are also excellent ways to show off original thinking and ensure your ideas get remembered and referenced back to you.

Slides are guides

Some of the best presentations I’ve seen had nothing more than a few funny images on slides. Here’s how Natalie suggests you use them;

“To me, ‘slides are my guides’ – keep them engaging, mostly text-free, and use them to remind you what you’re saying next!”
Natalie Fée, Founder at City to Sea

To help with the nerves, choose a topic where you are the world’s No. 1 expert. Chris explains it better:

“My advice is to minimize risk and maximize confidence. You can make one early decision that will achieve this across the core of your talk. And that is to base your first talk on a case study and your experiences working on it.

Why?

Because if it is your case study, then you are literally the world expert on the subject matter. You will inherently know everything about it. No one can question you; if they do, you will be well-placed to answer. By its nature, the talk will be unique for the audience and provide them with practical insight. By boxing off such a fundamental component of your talk, you will be freed up to focus on delivery in the knowledge that your content is unique and easy to recall on the day.”
Chris Callaghan, UX & CRO Consultant

To recite verbatim or wing it?

I always thought the accepted wisdom was to create crib notes rather than trying to remember your talk word-for-word. Perhaps it’s the ‘accepted wisdom’ only when you don’t have time to practice. For Samuel and others below, learning your talk inside out is precisely what they do, and it has benefits;

“ PRACTICE. Imagine you’re rehearsing exactly like an actor memorizes lines, or a band memorizes a song. Write out your talk word-for-word and deliver it over and over and over again at home or the office. Think about everything, including your gestures and tone of voice as well.

Whenever I give a keynote talk, I do it at home once a day for at least a month in advance. It helped once when the AV tech failed, and I had to do the entire thing from memory.”
Samuel Scott, The Promotion Fix columnist at The Drum

Ryan also shares a similar experience;

“My first speaking gig was early morning, and I hadn’t slept a wink the night before. I thought I was ready, but wow, was I wrong! I was counting on presenter mode on PowerPoint so I could see my next slides, but nope, the stage setup wasn’t having it. Lesson learned: you HAVE to know your stuff inside out! No faking it—you can’t fool the crowd.”
Ryan Williams, Social Media Entrepreneur at Ryan T Williams

The more I read this advice, the more I realize where I went wrong. I was self-assured. I believed I could wing it. I can talk to anyone. Well, it turns out that you can’t skip the practice sessions without making a fool of yourself.

“Regardless of whether it’s an online webinar or an on-stage keynote, the thing I’ve learned to do religiously before any speaking event is rehearse privately to the point of exhaustion.

Once I know what I’m going to say so well that I can start ad-libbing and riffing, I seek volunteers to deliver the rehearsed talk to. I ask them for honest feedback, and based on that, I then record it a final time and edit it to remove anything that doesn’t absolutely have to be in there. Once I’ve got that finished version, I practice this one again. And that’s the one I end up delivering on stage. ”
Neal Veglio, Founder at Podknows Podcasting

Practical Preparations

Once you’ve nailed the presentation, you can prepare for the talk in more practical ways.

The first step is knowing where you are going and what it looks like. I’m a Google Maps super-user (self-appointed). I use it daily to plan my route to places and then use street view to familiarize myself with where I’m going to help reduce the anxiety of going to new places. This is a good alternative if you can’t visit the venue beforehand, as Sunil suggests;

“Arrive early on the day of the event, or if possible, visit the location days beforehand. Use this time to stand on stage or in the room, practice your talk out loud or in your head, and take deep breaths. This exercise will help you mentally prepare by making the space feel more familiar. Own it, this is your stage. An added benefit of arriving early is demonstrating your commitment to the organizers and providing a chance to network with the event crew. You’ll feel more at ease, build confidence for future speaking engagements, and network, too.”
Sunil Pithwa, Product Designer & Event MC/Moderator/Speaker

While we’re talking about owning a space, nothing says ‘I own you’ more than a few power poses. While it might not have worked out great for British politicians who adopted the practice, there is science behind it, as Katie explains;

“Before the event, I research the venue to get an idea of capacity and what the stage will look like. It’s best to be prepared – are you walking around with a headset or standing at a lectern? Surprises can throw you off! Then, I might do a few ‘power poses’ while practicing the speech. Sounds silly, but studies show these can reduce cortisol levels.”
Katie Thompson, Director at Katie Lingo

Lastly, consider what questions the audience might ask. Even if there’s no time for Q&A, the audience can sneak up on you at the end. There’s no hiding.

Come up with 5-10 questions you think people might ask after seeing your presentation (or ask people who watch your run-throughs.) Include a few curveball questions you might get thrown—maybe your opinion on the wider industry or big trends or who you learned your power moves from. You don’t want to make it cool as a cucumber through the whole presentation to get freaked out by questions at the end. Be prepared.

Dealing with those pesky nerves

The bright side of all this prep and going through with your first talk means you’ll be free from nerves going forward. Right?

“After a decade of public speaking, I still get nervous before a talk.

The key is to reframe the physiological changes as excitement, your body getting focused and ready, and to lean into it instead of trying to fight it or worry about it.

If my heart is beating really fast, I’ll tell myself, “Ooof, my body is getting all in on this presentation”. Added bonus: the more adrenaline your body pumps at the start of the talk, the more endorphins you’ll get at the end! Public speaking is like a rollercoaster ride; accepting the feelings will make it more fun.”
Florent Buisson, ex-Experimentation Principal at e-commerce company

Natalie also has tips for dealing with all that adrenaline:

“When I started giving talks, I had a few tools to deal with the nerves before going on stage. I’d go somewhere private (the toilet if there wasn’t a green room!) to shake out my body and run vigorously on the spot. My nervous system was in ‘fight or flight mode,’ so I found it really helpful to DO the fight/flight actions to move the adrenaline through. If I couldn’t find a quiet space, I’d clench and unclench my fists and lift and drop my shoulders. I also wore flatter shoes as I soon learned I needed some stability under my feet if my knees were knocking!”
Natalie Fée, Founder at City to Sea

If, like me, your brain needs a little more convincing that you should fight, not, erm, flight, Kevin has you covered:

“If you’re worried, just treat it like a play. You’ve been cast as a character who is a confident and charismatic public speaker. Present in the part. As an introverted autistic bloke, that is all I ever do.”
Kevin Chesters, Founder

Many speakers are under the impression (wrongly) that the quicker they talk, the faster they can get off the stage. That’s why this next tip from Katie is really for everyone.

“During the talk, however fast I’m going, I try to slow down. Pauses give your audience time to absorb. I make eye contact with individuals to keep them engaged. Afterward, I always make myself available to anybody who wants to chat. Not everyone feels brave enough to ask at the time! Make the conversation about them and leave your contact details for follow-ups.”
Katie Thompson, Director at Katie Lingo

Depending on the lighting in the venue, making eye contact with the audience might be hard. Maybe it’s easier staring directly into a bright light, unaware that behind it sits 100s of expectant eyes, watching you. But don’t let me put you off. Ryan has good advice;

“Make sure to look everyone in the eye, keeping it real. Also, make sure you weave some human stories where possible; nobody wants death by facts and figures for an hour. And afterward, have a clear call to action so people can reach out to you.”
Ryan Williams, Social Media Entrepreneur at Ryan T Williams

Both Katie and Ryan suggest ways to encourage follow-ups post-talk. Whether you have business cards on hand or provide your contact info in your final slide, make it simple for the audience to get in touch.

I don’t like to brag, but I can breathe without thinking. That’s why I used to discount it when people told me that the breath was important. That was until I learned how to actively control my breathing and saw how it changed my behavior and mood. Now I get it!

So this advice from Thea is something you have to try for yourself. Also, I want a job title like “Rhetorician”….and focus in one, two…

“Whether you want to control your nerves, enhance your voice power, or have clearer thoughts, breathe.

The breath is wisely said to be the link between soul and body. This means that your physical performance and emotional state are affected by the length and placement of your in- and exhales. Your voice has sound because there is a stable airflow under the vocal cords. And this airflow can be stabilized by this exercise:

Place a hand on your stomach and a hand on the side. Breathe without forcing it. Exhale on a long ssss-sound until you run out of air, then feel the release in the abdomen muscles as the air flows back in by itself. Repeat a few times until it feels relaxed.

The focus should always be on the exhaling as we speak on exhales and not inhales. This also means you should never take a deep breath before going on stage; instead, you should do a long exhale. When your breath is in place, you feel more confident, your voice has power, and you are much more present.”
Thea Sejr, Rhetorician at Voice Versa

Post-match analysis

So, the deed is done. You listened to all the advice, practiced your heart out, and controlled your nerves. Now, you’re riding a high from all the adrenaline. But as it ebbs away and you have time to reflect, you might find yourself picking apart your performance. Stop. There’s a difference between constructive criticism and personal assassination. Anfernee has a good way to think about things:

“A mentor once shared a piece of advice that has stuck with me: “Just remember that every talk is preparing you for the next one.” I remind myself of this before every talk. This mindset helps take the pressure off by shifting your focus from perfection to progress. So whether your talk goes well or not, learn from it—it’s all prep for the next one. Each presentation is an opportunity to enhance your skills and gain confidence for future talks. Embrace the experience and trust that each step forward makes you better.”
Anfernee Chansamooth, Fractional CMO at Authentic Marketer

You can ask the event organizers if they have any feedback for you. They might have recorded your talk or collected ratings and feedback after the event. You might also find feedback on social media by looking at the event hashtags or doing what famous people do – searching for your own name. Again, try NOT to let critical feedback knock your confidence; instead, see it as a benchmark of where you started and how to improve going forward.

And finally, if you’ve reached this point in the article and are still involuntarily shaking your head, all is not lost. There are a ton of other ways to get yourself noticed. Andrea shares a few ideas;

“It’s entirely OK for you to choose the format in which you do any presentations. Some people are more comfortable doing a Q&A, while others prefer podcasts, webinars, or live speak. Do what makes you feel comfortable!”
Andrea Saez, Sr PMM at Unmind

If speaking isn’t for you, list yourself as open to contributing to articles by providing a written quote or being a guest on a podcast, safe behind the screen. Just create an Antiquoted contributor profile for free.

Cheat Sheet – Giving your first talk

Download a PDF summary of all the points above as a quick reference when you plan to give your first talk.

First Talk – Cheat Sheet by Antiquoted Download

If you’d like to be invited to speak at events, make sure you have a contributor profile on Antiquoted. It’s free. This way, event organizers can find you and invite you to speak at their events.

Thanks to all the contributors for giving their advice for this article.

Neil Simpson, Kingpin at Doing The Right Things
Natalie Fée, Founder at City to Sea
Chris Callaghan, UX & CRO Consultant
Samuel Scott, The Promotion Fix columnist at The Drum
Ryan Williams, Social Media Entrepreneur at Ryan T Williams
Neal Veglio, Founder at Podknows Podcasting
Katie Thompson, Director at Katie Lingo
Sunil Pithwa, Product Designer & Event MC/Moderator/Speaker
Florent Buisson, ex-Experimentation Principal at e-commerce company
Kevin Chesters, Founder
Thea Sejr, Rhetorician at Voice Versa
Anfernee Chansamooth, Fractional CMO at Authentic Marketer
Andrea Saez, Senior PMM at Unmind

Sweaty Palms to Standing Ovations: How to Nail Your First Public Talk